I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
