I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This house was built for laser tag.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
