Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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