my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
where are you?
Hypothermia
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
