I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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