a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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