i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
