It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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