It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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