alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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