Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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