I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
