I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
