I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize