i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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