farters have to be the big spoon...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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