So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
