Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
