exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
