I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
