does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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