Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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