I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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