you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Houston, we have a blender
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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