dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
birth control should be required to get into college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
