is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Who died my cat blue again?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
