i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
