You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He passed out mid-signature
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
