I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
