i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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