my sisters under your porch take her home
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
