She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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