you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
