He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i now understand why vodka
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
