"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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