Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
