and she was petting her beer can
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize