Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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