i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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