do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
