I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
