I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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