After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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