He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize