hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
