before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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