Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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