remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
