11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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