Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
