What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you would pick up someone in the library
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
