im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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