We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
