The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
