wanna go halves on a baby?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
sex in a hospital.. check
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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