let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
