I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
