dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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