Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize