We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
