i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
