Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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