Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize