So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
