Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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