is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
