Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
