Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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