did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
