my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
