so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
