where does the pee come out of this thing
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
