All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
