I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
